chromeofficial:

chromeofficial:

chromeofficial:

what do u call a backstabbing grocer

traitor joe

image

(via gertrudefrankenstein)


nosdrinker:

me at ikea: where’s the monkey

(via presidentgay)


scroturn:

i get really offended when someone doesnt sit next to me but im also relieved they didnt sit next to me

(via pastel-beauty-x)


primadollly:

paparazzi would show up to a celebrity’s lesbian wedding and be like ‘so-and-so looked classically chic at elaborate friendship ceremony with long-time ‘gal pal’ so-and-so. the two reportedly shared a completely platonic kiss and vowed to be ‘best friends’ for life’

(via presidentgay)


not-terribly-elegant:

theroguefeminist:

image

We’re we.

Here fuck.

We’re shit.

Queer up.

(via megasniffles)


meatbicyclevevo:

meatbicyclevevo:

What’s the definition of a will?

Come on guys it’s a dead giveaway

(via ashagayjoy)


me: dad, im hungry
dad: oh hi hungry, im dad!
me: i came out to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked right now.

snorlaxatives:

*sits down next to you and sympathetically looks into your eyes* i don’t care

(via ashagayjoy)


When they’re babies, people will come up and say to you ‘Are they a boy or a girl?’ when the kid’s in the pram and you can’t tell. And immediately when you tell them which gender it is they will behave differently according to what you tell them. It got to the point where we didn’t want people to know what gender the baby was. Just treat it as you’d treat someone you wanted to be nice to! Why is it so important to you to know? And then you hear people saying ‘Oh, look at him, he’s a little flirt isn’t he’, or ‘Oooh, she’s gonna wrap you around her little finger’ and all this. What are you on about? She’s two months old, she’s just shat herself.
Alan Davies, completely and utterly demolishing gender roles (via vanillanice)

(via broadcty)


i hope david bowie is having a nice day